++ naturally;

It’s closer and closer now. All that’s left is three days and I am really scared of what lies in store for me, to say the least. *sigh* Seems like I’ll never be over this feeling each time it comes around..

Of late I’ve met many new people, people who are gradually becoming friendlier towards me, despite the fact that they’ve not met me in person before. I’m feeling comfortable and easy around them too — so much till I could release frustration in the most vulgar way possible.

Cursing. =D Fun.

Slightly confused over being happy and terrified all at the same time. I know I’ll be glad when this is all over.

I miss you.

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. The closest description akin to what I’m feeling right now would be "at loose ends", but the truth is, nothing is out of place or going wrong right now. I don’t know how more right my life is now. It’s going just the way I intended it to be; everything seems to be gradually falling to place, yet I feel incomplete somehow.

It’s been awhile since I’ve felt incomplete.

Constantly having to shift my thoughts from one to another is beginning to wear me down. The strain is showing on my face (my eyebags are usually a pretty easy giveaway). If and when I break down, finally, they will have to start understanding that I just can’t switch on and off like how the lights in my room do.

Mariah Carey is keeping me company tonight. Contrary to popular beliefs that she’s a little too "bimbotic" to be considered an actual artist (at least I know some of my friends think so), I find her incredibly good. She’s a brilliant songwriter (only IMHO) or lyricist — her lyrics are so profound and it just flows together. Some songwriters string a few sentences together and form their version of pop music — it’s disgraceful how they manage to hit the charts. And at the moment, M2M’s Pretty Boy comes to mind. And Mariah does write most of her songs, especially the slow ones. She’s pretty versatile to me too — R&B, slow, classics, hip-hop.

I’m thinking, but I’m not really sure I know what I’m thinking about. I wish someone was here to keep me company; it’s six thirty am and I really need it.

I think this is by far the most personal blogpost I’ve ever wrote here.

I no longer have a steady sleeping routine. Wait.. did I ever have one to begin with? Probably not, haha. But at least I wasn’t falling asleep so damn often! In fact, come to think of it, I never really sleep in school back in high school. I just wasn’t the kind of person to sleep when your teachers can all see you doing it, and might humiliate you dearly if he/she chooses to rap smartly on your desk in an effort to wake you up. I’ve got an ego the size of Earth, you see. =D

I fell asleep in Corporate Finance the other day — too many times to count as well. I’m pretty sure Ms. Valerie caught me sleeping, but I wasn’t too concerned with what she thought. And just yesterday, I snoozed off a little in Principles of Banking & Finance.. and I’m feeling as guilty as ever. What’s worse is that I tried so damn hard to keep awake! If I actually intended to sleep, I really wouldn’t feel as bad. But I didn’t. =(

My sleeping routine is all messed up. I don’t really know what to do. I keep trying to sleep earlier and study harder, but for some reason, something comes up all the time.

It shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to do, right? All it needs is just a little discipline. Odd, why is it that I can’t seem to have a little bit more of my sister’s discipline?
 

This sounds really stupid, but.. I want to buy something, dammit! I want to spend money; I want to buy something; I want to buy a present for myself!

But there’s nothing to buy. Grr.

I’m going to start looking at smartphones now. Pfft.

I’m aghast. Thunderstruck. Completely stunned beyond words.

The people in my Friendster Network has got to be the worst kind of horny people ever, for my ‘popular search strings in my network’ to return a result like this:

And they say I’m perverted. Looks like I’m not all that bad. At least I wouldn’t search for these weird things in Friendster, of all places.

Jeez.

If you’re one of these people (excluding the clubbing clothes one, cause I don’t think it’s all that bad) then you really ought to get a life.

Basically I’ve spent nearly an hour tweaking with the layout — not to mention on the slow Streamyx connection today — and I’m damn near getting real fed up with it. It sure looks like I won’t be using this to update either.

You can however, find me @ my livejournal. I also have an archive of links here.

Which reminds me.. that I should not be having so many blog accounts everywhere when I’m supposed to be getting my own domain and webspace already. Pah.

I’m going to further tweak with it till I get settled. And I can’t seem to remove the damn title. I thought the only thing you couldn’t change after you set up your blog was the username?! Grr.

The single consolation I’m getting is that at least I like the colours of this layout style right now.